Raising Sons
In recent decades, media reports and social commentators have highlighted the dangers boys and young men encounter when they embrace conventional norms of masculinity. Whether boys are truly in a state of crisis or not is less significant than knowing that our sons still confront the counterproductive “boy code” that encourages them to be overly aggressive, emotionally distant, stoic, tough in unhealthy ways, and open to taking questionable risks with their bodies and minds. Thus, a vital aspect of being a nurturing dad in the 21st century is to educate our sons about the negative consequences of these potentially dangerous masculinity norms. The resources and insights shared below encourage dads to reflect on how they can influence their sons’ emotional, mental, and physical health and fitness.
Resources
By AnthonyWilliamsMusic, via Wikimedia Commons
Men's Health
The challenge of balancing the strength of a father figure with the love and concern of a parent is always difficult. In today's society with its ever changing gender norms, the relationship between fathers and sons can be difficult to navigate. With resources like Men's Health, the newest generation will be raised by men who appreciate the value of finding a balance between the stoic, focused approach and the gentle touch.
The challenge of balancing the strength of a father figure with the love and concern of a parent is always difficult. In today's society with its ever changing gender norms, the relationship between fathers and sons can be difficult to navigate. With resources like Men's Health, the newest generation will be raised by men who appreciate the value of finding a balance between the stoic, focused approach and the gentle touch.
"Cuba - Father and Son," by Nick, via Wikimedia Commons
Parents
When raising a son, every parent or guardian involved in the child's life has a different role to play in helping the kid grow into a happy and healthy individual. Sometimes the challenges are straightforward and sometimes they're unexpected. Ideally, parents should know as much as possible in advance to be prepared for the rewarding challenge of rearing a son.
When raising a son, every parent or guardian involved in the child's life has a different role to play in helping the kid grow into a happy and healthy individual. Sometimes the challenges are straightforward and sometimes they're unexpected. Ideally, parents should know as much as possible in advance to be prepared for the rewarding challenge of rearing a son.
By BigBrotherMouse (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
Baby Center
Young men are frequently seen as potential dangers or as uncontrollable bullies, robbing them of the chance to experience life to the fullest. This guide provides information on how to raise a son and help him reach his full potential without giving in to the worst of the stereotypes.
Young men are frequently seen as potential dangers or as uncontrollable bullies, robbing them of the chance to experience life to the fullest. This guide provides information on how to raise a son and help him reach his full potential without giving in to the worst of the stereotypes.
A number of trade books written by social scientists draw attention to the challenges of raising sons in today's society. For example:
Daniel J. Kindlon and Michael Thompson. Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. New York: Ballantine, 1999. Web.
Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (2000)
In this book, two leading child psychologists, Michael Thompson and Dan Kindlon, share their observations based on decades of experience working with boys and their families. They address the critical question: What do boys need that they aren't getting? In their view, an essential dimension to good parenting is nurturing boys' emotional wellness. When parents do this well they increase the chances that boys will grow up to be healthy adults.
In this book, two leading child psychologists, Michael Thompson and Dan Kindlon, share their observations based on decades of experience working with boys and their families. They address the critical question: What do boys need that they aren't getting? In their view, an essential dimension to good parenting is nurturing boys' emotional wellness. When parents do this well they increase the chances that boys will grow up to be healthy adults.
William S Pollack. Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood. New York: Random House, 1998. Web.
Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons From the Myths of Boyhood (1998)
Dr. William Pollack, an acclaimed researcher of the Harvard Medical School, is an expert of the psychological health of boys and men. In this work, he explains the difficulties boys face and why so many of them suffer grave psychological issues that can affect their health, happiness, and more. Pollack's work focuses on ways to foster boys' self confidence and self sufficiency to help them navigate the world in a healthier and happier way.
Dr. William Pollack, an acclaimed researcher of the Harvard Medical School, is an expert of the psychological health of boys and men. In this work, he explains the difficulties boys face and why so many of them suffer grave psychological issues that can affect their health, happiness, and more. Pollack's work focuses on ways to foster boys' self confidence and self sufficiency to help them navigate the world in a healthier and happier way.
Michael Thompson and Teresa Barker. It's a Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18. New York: Ballantine, 2008. Web.
It's a Boy! Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18
Thompson's text dissects the course of development and progressively evolving personality of boys and young men, focusing on each small "era" of a growing boy's life to dive into what boys want and need at separate times, as well as discussing how to help them grow into healthy men. The book also delves into the nature of the parental connection, discussing how the emotions a parent feels for their boy also evolve over time. Thompson focuses on fostering the psychological health of a boy in order to nurture him into mature adulthood.
Thompson's text dissects the course of development and progressively evolving personality of boys and young men, focusing on each small "era" of a growing boy's life to dive into what boys want and need at separate times, as well as discussing how to help them grow into healthy men. The book also delves into the nature of the parental connection, discussing how the emotions a parent feels for their boy also evolve over time. Thompson focuses on fostering the psychological health of a boy in order to nurture him into mature adulthood.
Michael S. Kimmel. Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. New York: Harper, 2008. Web.
Guyland
Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and gender scholar, explores the social forces that encourage a subset of young men ages 16-26 to experience
life irresponsibly as persons lacking productive purpose. According to
Michael Thompson, the men Kimmel describes are "afraid of competing with competent young women and confused about how to become responsible men, they retreat into self-congratulation, exploitative sex,
and video games." The book considers a wide range of self-destructive male behaviors, including social isolation and bullying. Kimmel argues that young men need to find a self-contained, affirmative space that allows
them to continue living lives that do not threaten them or move them out
of their level of comfort.
Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and gender scholar, explores the social forces that encourage a subset of young men ages 16-26 to experience
life irresponsibly as persons lacking productive purpose. According to
Michael Thompson, the men Kimmel describes are "afraid of competing with competent young women and confused about how to become responsible men, they retreat into self-congratulation, exploitative sex,
and video games." The book considers a wide range of self-destructive male behaviors, including social isolation and bullying. Kimmel argues that young men need to find a self-contained, affirmative space that allows
them to continue living lives that do not threaten them or move them out
of their level of comfort.
