Jeremy Rifkin, in his 1987 book, Time Wars, wrote a fascinating account of how six dimensions of time have affected the organization of societies around the world throughout history. One key dimension of interest to me, synchronization, has implications for dads and their kids in the way they interact and experience aspects of health and fitness.
In addition to shaping cultures, then, time matters to individuals on a personal level. It affects how they experience their families, friendships, play, and work. When things are synchronized, harmony and efficiency typically follow. When time preferences or schedules are poorly matched, tension and conflict result.
My parents managed time with the precision and reliability of a Swiss watch. As I recall, neither of my parents were ever late to a scheduled event. For them, being on time was the norm; it was the polite, honorable thing to do. They taught me to show people respect by respecting their time. They also thought ahead and planned their activities and time accordingly. I embraced their time-oriented values long ago and I express them often with Phoenix, my nearly seven-year–old son.
How I manage time in practical terms as a dad, often depends, not just on my own basic philosophy, but on how Phoenix reacts to organized schedules and my “on-time” and “let’s not waste time” perspectives. If I’m on my game being a nurturing dad, I consider his mood and energy level when I ask him to manage our shared time. Unfortunately, Phoenix still regularly tests my patience with his bouts of “time insensitivity.” I reassure myself that we’ll eventually improve our synchronicity and harmony… all in good time.
Let me share a couple insights about how I manage my shared time with my son. First, I learned early on that Phoenix, like many kids, thrives when kept on a fixed sleep schedule. The circumstances must be truly special for me to deviate from his routine. Long ago I bought into what sleep and child development experts stress—get infants accustomed to a regular, calming set of bedtime rituals. The National Sleep Foundation also recommends that kids aged 5-12 should get 10-11 hours of sleep a day. Early on, I introduced nap and evening sleep rituals that included writing a song “Baby Rock” that I've sung to put Phoenix to sleep on-schedule thousands of times, even to this day. Phoenix is much more receptive to my requests to “get a move on” when he’s realized his sleep target of 10.25 hours. His energy level is also in sync with the scheduling demands of his school, summer camps, sports, workout sessions, and other activities.
Second, I do a lot of thinking ahead to coordinate Phoenix’s busy and time-sensitive schedule. I’m confident that a dad’s (or mom’s) effective style of time management can make a significant difference in a child’s health, fitness, and sense of well-being. A parent’s attentiveness to time can also enhance a child’s options to do more, and accomplish more, in life. Being a “time-focused” dad means I make a concerted effort to anticipate his physical, travel, and event needs so that we can synchronize our time efficiently. Of course, not everyone agrees with where to draw the line between a positive, supportive parental focus on time and what Margaret Nelson has negatively labeled “parenting out of control” in her 2010 book by the same title.” I strive to not be neurotic about it, but I’m sure those who are careless with time would question my deliberate style.
Third, I take full advantage of travel time by using my car as a resource. I've established time-saving rituals for Phoenix by stocking my car with healthy snacks, water, paper, pens and pencils, books, sports gear, and sun block that allow Phoenix to do his homework, read, eat, or change his clothes and shoes on the fly. Fortunately, he didn't inherit my penchant for getting car sick when reading.
Fourth, I urge Phoenix to be more mindful of the transitional moments in daily life that shift his focus from one event or responsibility to another. Many of these moments occur in my car or his bedroom. In the car, I have a blanket on hand for the times where we’re driving at night and I want him to go to sleep on schedule. During the day, when time between events is short and I’m shuttling him from one activity to another, especially a training session or athletic event, I have on board what he and I call “fuel-food” to energize him. At home, on the nights when an early morning triathlon training session is planned, I have him sleep in his workout clothes to reduce the potential for us to butt heads over his distracted or sluggish efforts to get ready. Just tonight, I wanted to get Phoenix to sleep on time after a relatively late Youth Combine triathlon training session, so I packed him a homemade dinner that he ate as we drove home.
In short, at every turn, I strive to make sure Phoenix is well-rested, outfitted with the little things he needs to be efficient, and aware of what he needs to do to move efficiently from one activity to the next. I trust that, over time, our collective efforts to manage time wisely will lead to a form of synchronicity and harmony that will enhance our resolve for sustaining good health and fitness.
In addition to shaping cultures, then, time matters to individuals on a personal level. It affects how they experience their families, friendships, play, and work. When things are synchronized, harmony and efficiency typically follow. When time preferences or schedules are poorly matched, tension and conflict result.
My parents managed time with the precision and reliability of a Swiss watch. As I recall, neither of my parents were ever late to a scheduled event. For them, being on time was the norm; it was the polite, honorable thing to do. They taught me to show people respect by respecting their time. They also thought ahead and planned their activities and time accordingly. I embraced their time-oriented values long ago and I express them often with Phoenix, my nearly seven-year–old son.
How I manage time in practical terms as a dad, often depends, not just on my own basic philosophy, but on how Phoenix reacts to organized schedules and my “on-time” and “let’s not waste time” perspectives. If I’m on my game being a nurturing dad, I consider his mood and energy level when I ask him to manage our shared time. Unfortunately, Phoenix still regularly tests my patience with his bouts of “time insensitivity.” I reassure myself that we’ll eventually improve our synchronicity and harmony… all in good time.
Let me share a couple insights about how I manage my shared time with my son. First, I learned early on that Phoenix, like many kids, thrives when kept on a fixed sleep schedule. The circumstances must be truly special for me to deviate from his routine. Long ago I bought into what sleep and child development experts stress—get infants accustomed to a regular, calming set of bedtime rituals. The National Sleep Foundation also recommends that kids aged 5-12 should get 10-11 hours of sleep a day. Early on, I introduced nap and evening sleep rituals that included writing a song “Baby Rock” that I've sung to put Phoenix to sleep on-schedule thousands of times, even to this day. Phoenix is much more receptive to my requests to “get a move on” when he’s realized his sleep target of 10.25 hours. His energy level is also in sync with the scheduling demands of his school, summer camps, sports, workout sessions, and other activities.
Second, I do a lot of thinking ahead to coordinate Phoenix’s busy and time-sensitive schedule. I’m confident that a dad’s (or mom’s) effective style of time management can make a significant difference in a child’s health, fitness, and sense of well-being. A parent’s attentiveness to time can also enhance a child’s options to do more, and accomplish more, in life. Being a “time-focused” dad means I make a concerted effort to anticipate his physical, travel, and event needs so that we can synchronize our time efficiently. Of course, not everyone agrees with where to draw the line between a positive, supportive parental focus on time and what Margaret Nelson has negatively labeled “parenting out of control” in her 2010 book by the same title.” I strive to not be neurotic about it, but I’m sure those who are careless with time would question my deliberate style.
Third, I take full advantage of travel time by using my car as a resource. I've established time-saving rituals for Phoenix by stocking my car with healthy snacks, water, paper, pens and pencils, books, sports gear, and sun block that allow Phoenix to do his homework, read, eat, or change his clothes and shoes on the fly. Fortunately, he didn't inherit my penchant for getting car sick when reading.
Fourth, I urge Phoenix to be more mindful of the transitional moments in daily life that shift his focus from one event or responsibility to another. Many of these moments occur in my car or his bedroom. In the car, I have a blanket on hand for the times where we’re driving at night and I want him to go to sleep on schedule. During the day, when time between events is short and I’m shuttling him from one activity to another, especially a training session or athletic event, I have on board what he and I call “fuel-food” to energize him. At home, on the nights when an early morning triathlon training session is planned, I have him sleep in his workout clothes to reduce the potential for us to butt heads over his distracted or sluggish efforts to get ready. Just tonight, I wanted to get Phoenix to sleep on time after a relatively late Youth Combine triathlon training session, so I packed him a homemade dinner that he ate as we drove home.
In short, at every turn, I strive to make sure Phoenix is well-rested, outfitted with the little things he needs to be efficient, and aware of what he needs to do to move efficiently from one activity to the next. I trust that, over time, our collective efforts to manage time wisely will lead to a form of synchronicity and harmony that will enhance our resolve for sustaining good health and fitness.
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